Superwoman Syndrome: How to stop doing everything all the time

I used to suffer terribly with this.  My schedule was jam packed, I was working the equivalent of full time plus studying full time AND I was a single mother on top of that.  The candle burning at both ends, I would frequently fall apart under the weight of it all.  Little spack attacks.  I still remember throwing my chopping board across the room in a fit of over-exhausted rage.  I just couldn’t keep up.

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Self Talk

“I hate my hair. I hate my skin. I’m fat. I’m ugly. Nobody likes me. I can’t get anything right. I’ve stuffed up again. I’m a failure”. Notice a pattern? None of that stuff is measurable. Every single one of those statements will depend on my opinion more than an actual fact. What if I don’t suck, and it’s just my opinion that sucks? How do I NOT do this to myself?

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Stop That! (How to stop people treating you like crap).

Relationships can be hard.  Especially when someone starts treating you like crap.  The trick is knowing how to be clear on how you expect to be treated and what your boundaries are but that can be easier said that done... How exactly does one do this?  Well I'm no expert but here's how I do. 

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Anger: how i stopped being so full of rage ...

I was an angry kid. I was an extremely angry teenager and young adult. Angry to the point that I got into fights, I regularly had violent outbursts and I was just fuelled by rage. If I wasn’t angry, I was hyperactively happy, or depressed. I didn’t have a medium setting. If I was bread to be toasted I’d either be frozen or burnt.  Changing patterns like that can be hard but here's how I did.... 

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Top 10 Tips for Anxiety (when you really want results).

I have had anxiety for about 20 years now. I’ve gone through periods where I haven't been able to leave the house, times when I've been medicated, times where I’d have panic attacks, others where it was just general anxiety and then also random spaces in time where I would have some relief.  Here's how I got into a much better space... 

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Sleep: Why i couldn't and why i can now

I used to wake up, without fail, almost every single night. Providing I actually got myself to sleep in the first place, I would lie there in bed thinking about what someone had said that day and then imagine myself saying what I wish I had said, and then their new imaginary response. If only I knew then, what I know now...

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Check in with yourself - the key to releasing tension in your brain and your body

Ever feel like you’re shoulders are tight? Do you get tension headaches? Maybe you need to just ‘check in’ occasionally. You might be a little like me, and walking around unconsciously tensing almost every muscle in your body. I’m reading a book at the moment, called ‘The Brain's Way of Healing’ by Norman Doidge, M.D. It’s a compelling insight into the way the brain works and the way the brain can heal, and how the body can heal by working with the brain.

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Making us sick: how we are poisoning ourselves and what we can do about it

It would seem the majority of us humans are slowly killing ourselves. It feels awkward broaching the subject with anyone. You don’t want to be the one to bring it up, to actually name the thing. You don’t want to appear callous or rude when your friend whines about how sick she feels after her third donut. As a society we are becoming more and more immune to it. We are overlooking it, looking around it, blaming disease and misfortune, and even justifying it as a choice....

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Chronic pain: the challenge is not making it worse

In the past six months my life has changed dramatically. At one point I was in pain every single day (only the amount would vary). I was tired all the time even on a good day and I was stressed out of my brain. I was trying ever so hard to hold it all together, to create a happy and stable environment.

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Imposter Syndrome: Never wait until you're good enough

It has only recently dawned on me, that there has been something holding me back. A real underlying fear for me. Underneath the surface, hidden from my own conscious awareness, has been this fear that I am not good enough to achieve my dreams..

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Worthy of loving... 

I hated myself - I drank myself into oblivion (and let me just say in defence of my 15 year old self, that was culturally very appropriate), but for me, that was not the answer.  The more I drank, the worse things got.  The more I didn’t like myself.  The more I didn’t like myself, the more I drank.  As you can tell from just these few sentences it wasn’t a pleasant situation.  It was killing me.  

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Getting back up again. 

Dealing with life can be overwhelming.  Sometimes it gets you down. When I'm struggling, here is what I do. First I’m going to give you a little insight to where I am at and how I got here. I’m not going to go into a whole heap of blow for blow detail about my childhood and adolescence and all the trials of early adulthood, but just enough to flash forward to today.  I might go into a bit more depth a bit later, but for now I just need to get to the current day so that each part of my writing comes from a very present space.

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Is Bitching Bad For You?

Look, sometimes a woman needs to vent.  Sometimes all the internal goings on get a bit too much and it feels like unless we let a little out, we are going to explode.  But there is a difference, quite a large difference, between using a friend as a sounding board to get some support and sort out your stuff, and being, quite frankly; a bitch.  

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How thinking can change your life...

I often think about personality types and why they matter.  I think about the ways in which we differ and the ways in which we are similar. I also wonder why I wonder about these things.  I like to understand people.  I try to understand them and I try to make their lives better with that understanding. I think it’s because the more we understand the way that something works, the better we can use that something to our advantage.

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How to have balance when you're a people pleaser. 

I think it’s fair to say most people like to keep other people happy.  I think life is just easier that way, not having people cranky at us.  Some people think about how their behaviour will affect others a lot more than others.  Some don’t consider it much at all, and some of us think about it so much that it consumes us.  Some of us try so hard to keep the people around us happy that we lose our sense of self.

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Can't sleep for thinking?

Thinking used to really stop me sleeping. I would think about things I’d forgotten, conversation replays where I would answer very differently then I had earlier in the day, things I wanted to do, plans, ideas… The thoughts would just arrive and PING! I’m awake.  A lady asked what I do to shut my head up and I realised just how long it’s been since I’d really had poor sleep...

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Curing Fibromyalgia

So a quick run down;  I felt like crap all the time, I was FREEZING (wearing my ski clothes inside the house freezing), lots of headaches, and aches and pains throughout my body. I was exhausted, and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.  No matter what I did I couldn’t shake this feeling.  It felt very similar to when you’re coming down with the flu, like you’ve been hit by a truck, but the sneezing and coughing never comes.  Some days I was bed ridden, other days I would be okay until about 2pm but then I’d run out of energy.

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Diagnosis: Fibromyalgia

Today I was officially diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I had a feeling this day would come. I had an inkling years ago when I stumbled across it ‘googling’ one of the ridiculous amounts of symptoms I have, but I dismissed it thinking I was becoming a hypochondriac and I needed to lay off the internet. 

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